The Story

Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.

The Dutch

For years now I’ve been sure that I’m going to marry either a Scandinavian or a Catalan. But after six weeks of this trip, the Dutch are going to have to be added to the list. These people are just too cool.

Matching

Of all the unrealistic expectations men hope for in a future partner, mine is finding a women who invariably wears matching underwear.

Penélope Cruz

I’m so attracted to Penélope Cruz’s accent that I’d quite happily sit and listen to her give a reading of the complete Twilight Saga.

The Bling Ring

I’ve never really found Emma Watson to be that attractive but that slowmo bit in The Bling Ring trailer where she’s dancing with her tongue out and hair all bouncy sends me from six to midnight every time I see it.

Spanish

There are three reason why I shop in Mango:

  • I like their clothes
  • I like being served by insanely attractive Spanish girls
  • I like being served by insanely attractive Spanish girls

Front Teeth

I can’t work out if my current infatuation towards girls with a slight gap between their front teeth is down to me actually being attracted to members of the opposite sex with distinguishing features, or more of a side effect from yet finding the time to watch the last two new episodes of Mad Men.

Barcelona

I’ve never been one to set plans for the future but I look forward to the day my Spanish wife and I take our boy to his first training session at La Masia…